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The way you lead groups and get to have a way with the crowd is by taking the first initiative.
You take a person that you pick and approach them with a question.
They might accept you, and something else they could do is reject you.
Once they accept you that is you standing offer, you take it and you shop around by approaching other people you might also have interest with before coming back to your person and accepting them back.
They are accepting you when they answer your question and waiting if you have any more questions, thus offering you to ask more, before you do, ask other people.
Another thing they might do is reject you.
This is good.
If they reject you, basically look for other people to approach and initiate conversation with other than the people that have rejected you already.
Once your list is exhausted, you basically sit by yourself and give people time, or just create an opportunity for other people to approach you.
Something else that might happen would be something that would lead to a conversation.
Instead of accepting and waiting for you with a standing offer, the person basically takes their own initiative and reciprocates with their own initiative such as a question for you.
Now it's your turn to either accept, reject or reciprocate jet again.
If the two of you keep reciprocating back and forth, asking and answering, that is known as a conversation.
During the process of group dynamics an action you might take is engaging other people that feel rejected while you are talking with someone.
Someone to engage would be the person that engaged you the most before, but is now engaging someone else.
An ideal candidate is someone who engaged you the most and is now engaging someone else the most.
They were either giving you eye contact, looking at you intently, listening to you actively, asking you a question or maybe even repeatedly asking you questions.
The more they were approaching you the more you would wait to similarly approach someone else.
When you would approach someone else is when someone is giving you a standing offer, or asking you a question.
When someone is initiating you, asking you a question or waiting to see if you have any more questions, is when you can approach another person that feels more rejected and is approaching someone else as much or more than they were approaching you.
This is the way that you constantly pull people by asking or approaching them and push by rejecting, approaching someone else when they approach you or give you an offer.
By constantly pulling and pushing people and maintaining any one particular conversation you get pulled and pushed in return by the circle of people and the result is you being in the center.
A note to keep in mind is what to do when you exhaust your rejections which is normal.
Sometimes you don't feel like initiating a person with a question either because you feel too shy or because they have turned you down too many times before.
If you don't feel like doing it because you feel rejected it is often because you haven't balanced out your approaches among the members and have went back to the same person before giving them sufficient breathing space.
Start with the people you have talked to the last and only after you have exhausted everyone evenly sit by yourself and let people come back to you.
Also try decreasing the level of your intensity by way of decreasing to simple eye contact instead of verbally asking a question.
Start off verbally, then exhaust the circle off people, then sit by yourself for a while and then use less subtle means.
Instead of verbalizing use a look of intent and active listening, if that's not getting you responses form people then decrease to an even subtler glance and eventually just make brief eye contact until people invite feedback from you.
This is very understandable, usually you will find participants before having to exhaust the group.
However, when dealing with a particularly tough crowd, when being new, or when the group is full off attractive self absorbed girls, it's important to know what to do in each situation.
You do what you know works following a process and before you know it, you too will have the gift of the gab.


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