Equal Partnerships in Marriage Relationships
Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Is Your Lady a Praying Mantis?

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Family Planning There are obviously many reasons for getting married - companionship, true love, financial and even boredom - but one of the paramount reasons is forming a family.
If this is one of your leading reasons for getting married, then you'd better make sure your perfect-wife prospect likes baking...
get it...
bun in the oven.
Seriously though, marriage and family deserve an immense amount of planning and consideration - beforehand.
Especially in today's world of instant results and immediate gratification, people need to make much more effort in their preparations instead of cleaning up or ignoring preventable disasters.
How is this done? Talk about it.
It really is that simple.
This topic does have some major bearing on your life, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous to talk about it.
If that's the case, then don't let your anxiety build up.
First, practice some deep introspection and analyze your own desires for having children.
The better you understand yourself, the better armed you'll be for any situation.
Then, think fairly about what you expect from a spouse in a familial role.
Expressing your expectations of others is one of the quickest ways to put people on their defenses.
Even if someone completely agrees with you, our inner need to maintain autonomy is difficult to suppress.
But with a clear outline of what you know about yourself, and what you expect from your potential spouse, baby-talk will be much smoother, ruling out a potential faux pas from impromptu scrambling during your conversation.
Once you've got some thorough thought under your mental-belt, think about what type of situation would be best for you to broach the topic.
As was mentioned, you may be extremely nervous to talk about it, so the jump-out-of-the-airplane method may be best for you - don't think about it, just do it.
The more we wait with something heavy gnawing at our hearts or minds, the more anxious we become.
At the same time, you don't want to just blurt it out while you're both watching a praying mantis nibble on its offspring's head on the Discovery Channel.
Don't wait too long to talk about, but still be tactful with your timing.
Talking About Children You can make it casual and mention children while on a walk, using the sight of children playing in the neighborhood as a casual lead-in.
Or you can make a special occasion out of it and take your lady out to dinner.
Women are intricate beings, and a little finesse goes a long way.
You can take advantage of this special evening to address issues that are crucial to your happiness and future - factors you need satisfied for her to qualify as the perfect wife.
This is also a fantastic way to make sure you haven't just been courting her exterior - get to know her.
And getting into the nitty-gritty in a romantic atmosphere will help soften some of the stickier issues.
Plus, a nice bottle of wine could provide a few ounces of liquid courage to help you both loosen up and more freely express yourselves (too much wine, though, and a baby may be on the way much sooner than you thought).
Even if your perfect-wife prospect does want children, it's still vitally important to discuss each other's motivations for having a family.
People's desire to have children stem from dozens of reasons - a primitive instinctual drive, abundant love, natural nurturer, extra food stamps - and you should understand what they are before you start baking.
Even if you disagree with some of her points of motivation, it's still imperative to completely understand each other, so that you can eventually create an unbreakable, unified front with which to raise your children.
Solidarity is one of the most important factors in a young child's life.
Deciding to have a family marks one of the most significant decisions in your life, as it is the first time you and your mate will be solely responsible for another human life.
Take great care with this subject and give it due diligence.
You should both be extremely clear on how you both feel about children well before you're married.
While children often have a positive, increased binding affect between parents, mismatched needs and desires can just as easily produce the opposite result.


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